Cat Story

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We
turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our
pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab
company and requested a taxi.

The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The
cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't
want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The
cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the
house will be empty for the night. Therefore, she explains to the taxi
driver that I will be out soon, saying, "He's just going upstairs to say
goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said,
as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to
poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take
off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket
to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass
downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car...